Ahh yes, the anual KIXMAS jingle. (I'd read it over & laugh your ass off prior to reading out loud to youth).
Especially for you Debbs, don't fret i didnt 4get!
Hope this finds you all well. Ahhh I'm a sucker 4 traditions!
‘twas but moments before KIXMAS and all through the street,
Echoes of children laughing and hoofs prancing held up the beat,
Lights twinkled, snow sprinkled & then melted slowly at your feet,
Sleighs dashed, shoppers cashed… in on good gifts,
KIXMAS songs all in the background whilst “An LL Cool J, Christmas” blared out unfitting riffs,
The reindeer all huddled way back in the shed,
With Rudolf a smiling from the tradition of good Christmas head,
It was a tradition steeped many years long from the past,
The head of the reindeer enjoys that, or a piece of nice Christmas ass!
Frankincense and Myrrh were things fit for a king,
But spices and herbs wouldn’t make these jingle bells ring!
It used to be Santa whom made hast with some Mizz Clause,
One summer day Rudolph read the KIXMAS contract, and noticed some flaws,
“Ye whom powers the gifts to the world, Shall have his pick of elf-ets”
Santa couldn’t believe it, this changed all the bets!
The KIXMAS contract clearly doth state. Line 123 Clause 28
Rudolph beamed with excitement, now you know why the gifts are never late!
All season long the elf-ets work away, each one buffing up for that pre-kixmas date,
Tone little arms and small elfish curves, with soft supple lips and trigger happy nerves!
Roaming the halls Santa inspects the toys,
While Rudolph check I.D’s to ensure he’s not eyeing up boys,
King of the sleigh, now king of the world,
KIXMAS eve is upon on us for good boys and girls,
Santa picks out the top three in the shop,
And Rudolph comes over to select the cream of the crop,
A command to the team yells out from a far,
Though few of you know of the true KIXMAS star,
Now Dasher, Now Dancer on Prancer and Donner, Now Cupid and Comet, now hail to Blitzen,
Released is the name of the true KIXMAS star… A rockin elf-et named Vixen!
Around the world in the blink of and eye,
Vixen handles the cargo while Rudolph explodes in the sky!
If ever you wonder how a white KIXMAS was born,
Let the snowflakes melt off you chin on a cool KIXMAS morning`
A tale held up from a true KIXMAS past,
The tale of the tradition of the first KIXMAS ASS!
Merry Kixmas to all and to all tight nite!