Your in luck my dear friends The Merry Kixmas annual letter is here,
Deck the halls and bust out your fav. Kixmas balls,
Tell all your friends and let it be known in the malls,
I just couldn't do it, I couldn't out do the old man,
I’ll give you this letter and Santa will bring the rest to your land,
A year I spent scribbling and scribing and writing highlights,
A year I tell you, up all day and late nights,
I sat and I drank even one night all alone in my van,
Conjuring up stories some of wich have been publicly banned,
Hell it's my 3rd application to the Amazing Race & the fukers still haven't called,
All the rejection I'm feeling appalled,
So I sit here the eve of Kixmass eve white wine in my veins,
Sifting through the year, the pleasures the pains,
With all of the madness and all of the fun,
Where to begin what all has been done?
In my own little world it started off kicking ass,
Playing with tools in my shed with big dreams and a bit of cash,
My good friend Andrew worked restlessly away,
Rebuilding a 71 FORD to kick start a motorbike trip through Mexico & cervezas each day,
We biked and we rode and I caliced right up both cheeks,
Beaches, Banditos and Burritos the locals thought we were pale white freaks,
Two wrong turns don’t always make a right,
Though puking through a motorbike helmet will have you stopping for a night,
Be it fate or good fortune two paths did meet,
Groceries we bought for an entire village made for a few good meals for everyone to eat,
On to the world and more well known events,
You fuck up one thing in the Sochi Olympics and all nine lives will be spent,
Four of five Olympic rings only turned out, and Boris saw the final night of his life,
The investigations concluded `He tripped and fell on some knifes`
No shit I read it with my own two green eyes,
In the land of Putin even passenger jets fall from the skies,
All was quite opposite in my Home and Native Land,
As Canada kicked USA`s ass in the Olympic final and the country turned and eye to the hours liquor is typically banned!,
On Dasher and Dancer on Donder and Blitezen, On Cupid and Comet and Skippy and Vixen?
Is that what they go by? Does anyone know? People bandwagon things all the time just for the show!
Oh really you say whilst you turn that door knocking fundraiser away,
Over 100 million dollars of Ice Buckets dumping and does anyone know what ALS stands for anyway?
I sold my last business and now drink unemployed,
Girlfriend should be happy with more time to fill her Void!
And the laughter of the world fell silent for some days,
If you could ask the Genie for three wishes or wonder what Mrs Doubt Fire would say…
It seems the American job rate is good no matter what the cost,
Even Ray Rice punched out his fiancé and his job wasn’t even lost!
For real you say that was all just this year?
I’m just scratching the surface with pub chat while you we’re tossing back beers,
What’s in a year and for what will you do?
Someone influence the way you do what you do?
Think to yourself who makes up the worlds mind,
Did you think Dennis Rodman would be asked to influence North Koreas mankind?
On that same whimsical note only time will tell,
Greatest marketing scheme or did Kim Jong-un put Sony under his spell…
Now dash away Debbs and Oliver now Katie, Now Dash away Ivan and Marion and Sadie,
Back to your beds your mistresses your jams., back to your Twitter your Face Book your Instagrams,
MERRY KIXMAS TO ALL AND MAY YOU BE IN THIS YEARS PLANS!