2017 Questionable Kixmas

Away in a manger no crib for a bed,
A night in a hostel is where I’d rest my merry head,
 
Sharing a room with Elphs of nine more,
​ohh know, of the lot eight would snore,

If Jesus slept on hay, then this wasn’t so rough, 
A year of living in a tent makes ones back nice and tough,


What a change of events from last Christmas morn.,
 Where I’d leave Christmas day from a questionable house of porn,

 What’s that you say of last Christmas day, 
You’d find yourself a bit tipsy in the company of  Mexican women dancing for pay?

It was a trick, a scandal, I had no time to react, 
I had been ushered in by large Mexican men in sombreros whom next to me sat,

It was one, than another, then just one bottle more,
They thought that for Kixmas I deserved a nice dancing whore!

My gosh they we’re tickled as the girl sat down, 
She spoke perfect English and had two degrees from a University in town,

Not sure what to do I kept my hands to myself,
Tucked in my lap like a good little Elf,

The boys prodded and teased and told me to relax,
As far as being uncomfortable I think I was at my max,

Shots were then ordered, then a bottle of champagne,
If this was Kixmas in Mexico city, they must be insane,

Lap dances to the left of me, heavy cleavage to the right,
I can’t make this shit up, it was all quite the sight,

Hours would pass and still I didn’t make one move,
The only gringo in a Christmas strip club wreaking of booze,

Now I know what you’re thinking, what questionable morals,
Hey man I had no idea, it was my questionable pals,

Now on stage was Vixen, now Prancer, Dancer and Cupid,
Jesus did Santa name the strippers himself, with dilated pupils,

The reality check soon hit the table,
 Try to pay I did but for Kixmas these Mexicans wouldn’t make me able,

Stumbling up and out to look for the car,
By the looks of the sun Christmas lunch wouldn’t be far,

Home again soon to my amigos for a well needed rest,
Seems we walked in the doors just as his parents got dressed,

Skipping the siesta we went straight for a gift,
Shit, I forgot I’d bought them some premium tequila. Please no more then a sniff,

From a night out for tacos, then salsa and some dessert,
What a year can bring in change, another out of country can’t hurt?

Last year in questionable places my Muther could have never approved,
Let’s see if a Kixmas this year is the same in Peru…



***Sorry, no photos allowed in the club.