Lesbians, God & Calorie Counting
I see God like I see calories; it’s in everything & can be good or bad depending on how it’s used. That being said I’ve never found life to be all that interesting if you stick to one God and one type of calories.
I like to try new things to see if they are for me, not for my friends of family or the preacher or Jenny Craig, me. I’ve tried tonnes of foods that left a bad taste in my mouth & the same with religious events. Thou I’ve found a few gems I like now too.
Bring me the calories of ice cream, coconut juice and tacos, and I’m just as happy with Christmas presents, The Lantern Festival & Sunday morning parties at a Southern Baptist Church!
I’m not to sure what Gods opinion is on same sex marriage, though he must be lightening up a little in the last 2000yrs, as I went to my first same sex wedding last week. It was in a church, it was awesome & I’m pretty sure the minister used the lords name in vain at least once during the ceremony. The theme was a sort of 50’s event, some ladies wore flapper dresses, some gentlemen wore gangster suits, two little men about twelve wore signs that stated they were “Ring Security” and two littler men about six carried the rings on small pillows. The bridesmaids all wore what they wanted and looked comfortable not forced. The dinner was fantastic with three entirely separate buffets, including; slider, candy and ice cream buffet. The M.C. did a smashing job while peppering his speech with gay jokes and everyone from seven to seventy looked happy to be in on the jokes and didn’t seem freaked out by the shenanigans. I think I even teared up when the father of one of the brides gave an off the cuff speech and thanked his daughter for completely changing his view on the whole LBGT culture. It seemed like God was happy with the whole event, no protests and no lightening bolts from the sky hit anyone.
Likely the next most memorable wedding I’ve been to was in a small village outside of the city of Hat Yai in Thailand. We’d met a couple of French Canadians on the beach in Mexico a couple years earlier, they we’re driving from Quebec to Central America. We we’re driving from Alberta to Central America. We all ended up driving together then renting a house in Guatemala for a month. Out of the blue I emailed them a couple years later to see how things were, he replied that if we happened to be in Thailand that weekend we could come to the wedding of him and his soon to be Thai wife. Well holy shit if we didn’t just happen to be a few hours away on the coast of Thailand.
If you ever want to feel like a celebrity, go to a wedding in a small Thai fishing village where 90% of the attendants have never seen a white person, let alone five. It’s amazing, people would stop in there tracks, drop what they were doing and come and look at us. I had people rubbing my skin, pinching me to see if I was real and they would run there fingers through the hair of my very blue eyed, blonde girlfriend.
Completely unaware of any class systems, three of the five of us went to sit under one of the eating tents with the workers, they seemed to be having more fun then the land owners tent we we’re sitting under. They we’re so delighted to have us, one guy got up and caught us a fish out of the rice fields, they cooked it whole and couldn’t wait to see us eat it. If ever you’ve eating a fish that feeds from the murky bottoms of a rice field and was cooked with all of it’s insides still on the inside, it is no seared tuna belly with truffle butter…
My vegetarian girlfriend was crying as she took a bite to appease the locals, I was laughing until it was my turn. For a group of people whom I’m sure rarely have any protein on there plates, they couldn’t understand how were not ecstatic over the offer.
The local soccer club dressed up in there game clothes to be the live band for the event, the karaoke audience cheered like a million fans as our one friend sang Zombie by the Cranberries on stage & we we’re invited in the home of the brides parents to test the first ever western toilet in the village they had installed just for our arrival. Picture asking that hall you rented to install and hole in the ground, tiled, with a bucket of water next to it so your Thai guests would feel more comfortable using that facilities. This is hospitality it it’s finest.
Buddha and Christ seemed ok with the days events & all ended like magic as the town chased our taxi van down the dusty roads cheering for us and yelling our names like Brad and Angelina had just crashed the wedding…
I’ve had my journeys blessed with incense and flowers by gods I’d never met before, I’ve been to more gay bars and gay festivals then I think most straight people. Thou the first one in Sydney at 18 sorta took me off guard when I couldn’t figure out how Australia had so many 6’3” women in one place that thought I was adorable! I’ve been the only white guy in a packed church on Sunday morning and I’ve never met a god who didn’t like or at least tolerate me for the duration of an event. I’ve never met a person who’s skin color outshone there character and I’ve never had a gay person treat me any different because I was straight.
I also would not have known most of this if I’d never traveled around to find out.
When you are interested I’d recommend gay pride in Toronto, Southern Baptist Church in New Orleans and Chinese New Year in Asia to get you started.
Have you ever been to an event that completely changed your opinion on something for the better once the experience was over?
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