If you don’t know Belize’s primary language is English, or so they say, and the people are a mix of Garifuna, Maya, Creole and Mestizo. You smash all these languages and culture together and the majority of the people I met we’re mostly black and talked like a mix of Pit Bull and Speedy Gonzales. I even asked one lady what language she was speaking to her kids and she said Spanish and English, neither of which we’re audible to this guy.
I spent night one on a remote beach down a muddy red dirt road beating away bugs with a jacket as the sun went down and completely unprepared for %1000 humidity in the jungle I awoke to the tent and everything soaked and me in a pool of sweat. It’s not really a problem, like say shoveling a path through the snow to get to your car to start it in the morning is a problem; it’s just something to get used to.
I took a dirt road, most off the main strip through the country are, for a little sightseeing detour that landed some sweet photos of decaying docks thou not much else. And once I realised the price of fuel had doubled ($1.75/L for regular) I decided we’d only make guaranteed fun detours. I lasted three hours in the heat / humidity, found a hotel and sat in the shade drinking cold sodas until I got my sugar level back to a thinkable level.
Next stop Uncle Joes house…
I found Joe on couch surfing and he had some stunning reviews, “11/10, nicest guy on the planet, like your favorite Uncle” etc. So I hit him up and landed at his place in Seine Bight within minutes he cracked me a cold beer, showed me around his place then took me and a Danish guy staying there on a tour of the town including stops at every happy hour he could find.
Joe had spent his last few years before retirement from Anheuser Bush searching for property on the USA coast with affordable property taxes, claiming it was impossible he moved to Belize and built three small houses between a stunning ocean and a calm lagoon on this pristine peninsula where he pays about $80/year in taxes for all. Joes a happy guy.
I’d planned one night there, as many do, and ended up staying for five. Spending the days fishing (I caught nothing), playing happy hour yahtzee with the other retirees and pub hoping around the peninsula with Uncle Joe. Seems everyone in town knows Joe and wasn’t at all surprised to see him with his usual entourage of couch surfers. I’d say the best night was the beer and chocolate tasting extravaganza. Being as Joe worked in beer most of his life he was all too happy to walk us through a series of light to dark beers ending with a toasted coffee Guinness and some dark chocolate made from fresh cacao just up the road.
Belize is mostly a water paradise, picture diving the Blue Hole, snorkelling off the reefs, sailing around the Cayes, and fishing the various coves. I however kicked it with the retirees and got to know the various happy hours of the coast.
Don’t worry; we quickly soak in a cultural bath shortly after crossing into Guatemala…